Dating Diaries 1: Get the Numbers Up

So one positive effect of the horrible, no good, very bad year 2020 for me, is that I have the summer off! And with the summer off, I realized that I had more time to invest in dating than I’ve ever had.

My mom introduced me to a dating book by Henry Cloud, “How to Get a Date Worth Keeping,” and I noticed the almost-comical subtitle: “Be Dating in Six Months Or Your Money Back.” We read the questions proposed by Dr. Cloud on the back cover of the book: “Have you been waiting for the right one to come into your life?” and so forth, and laughed as we answered yes to many of his questions. 

Okay, I told her, I’ll get the book, haha. And I was reading it within a few days. 

The primary premise of the book is that in order to find that “right one,” it is ESSENTIAL to get your numbers up. He makes the logical argument that the more people you interact with, the more chances you have at finding someone who is a good match. It made sense to me so far. Got it, get my numbers up.

And so, I joined three dating apps and committed to spending a certain amount of time on them each day. Meeting guys in the store, coffee shop, library and at parties wasn’t really going to happen during this socially- distanced time (I couldn’t exactly smile at a guy across the aisle while wearing a mask!), so the apps were my best bet. 

Reading through the book while experiencing the dating apps was perfect! It seemed to address the feelings and questions (and doubts) I had along the way. 

Meet some losers? No worries, just keep meeting more people. 

Afraid of showing more interest than I have? No worries, just be clear from the beginning that I’m casually dating for six months (with no plans to get in an exclusive relationship during this time). 

Can’t really figure out a guy’s values and interests from his profile? No worries, just go out and see. 

I had been on a few dating apps before, quickly got discouraged, and decided that online dating was not for me. And while it isn’t my ideal choice, it isn’t necessarily a bad method, especially nowadays, and especially during Covid. 

So, instead of getting discouraged when I go through a hundred profiles (yes, one hundred a day lol… it goes fast!), and didn’t click on one like, I can just think that there will be more profiles to look at tomorrow, or try a new app! And with this attitude I ended up with 5 chats and 1 date within the first week. 

And as I texted to the friends buzzing my phone after the date, I wouldn’t go out with him again, but it was one date in the books! And it wasn’t bad . . . so, that’s a win!

The numbers are on my side, so I’m going to go with the numbers and just keep dating. All I have to find is one! 



 

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