Dating Diaries 8: All This Romantic Atmosphere (Can You Feel The Love Tonight?)

So, I just want to give a fair warning that this post is going to start out pretty romantic, but then end up with a perhaps less-than-romantic surprising turn. And that’s just part of the learning I guess. 

And so the romantic part . . . 

The downtown in my buzzing city has found a way to comply with Covid dining restrictions while remaining open for business. A whole street has been closed off, allowing for outdoor seating of some of its best restaurants. And in the midst of social distancing regulations, the vibe is still electric and fun. Music plays on the street corners and lit-up pedicabs carry laughing parties to their destination.

And as the sun began to tuck behind the high rises on a warm, breezy mid-July evening last night, the atmosphere was . . . well, romantic. 

My date and I rode across town on electric-powered scooters, garnering smiles from those sitting out at high-top tables enjoying their drinks, and it was fun!

We had reservations at a sushi place and had to share the one menu as we made our decisions, and although it was just our second date, we easily fell into conversation. 

There was certainly the awkwardness (and maybe nervousness?) of a second date, but I felt that we were both trying to be genuine and honest and open. The more we talked, the more I started observing that he was attractive, and fun, and smart, and talented and . . . nice. Really, really nice.

Our waiter came over several times to check on us and our water glasses were filled multiple times even after we finished eating. Finally, one of the sushi chefs (was he the manager??) came over to ask how we were doing and our intuition told us that they were ready for us to leave, hehe. 

We ended up walking to a gelato place down the street and again sat and talked at a little outside table until they literally started taking things off of our table and we realized all of the other tables were packed up. Oops! 

Looking back now, it seemed like that whole night was one of those movie-type moments where we couldn’t find enough time to talk. Like we were the only two people in the world while everything else just faded into the background . . . yes, it really felt that way haha!

It seemed, though I wasn’t certain, that he took the long way back as we walked to our cars. He asked me a hundred rapid-fire questions about every detail of each of my family members, stating the information back as he took it all in. And well, because my love language is quality time and specifically conversation, someone asking me questions and listening to all the details is pretty much like spoon-feeding me love. My love tank was filling up. 

And having a commitment to physical boundaries, I wasn’t about to go up to his condo, and I kept adjusting my stance every time he moved in closer as we stood talking at my car (yes, he kept moving in closer!). To end our night, I quickly hugged him and said good-bye, and responded to his “I had a great time” text when I got home. 

BUT . . . I couldn’t sleep. I literally could not fall asleep the whole night. Light started blinking through my blinds in the early morning and since I was hiking with some friends in the morning, I decided to just get up. 

He was all I could think about during the hike, especially as my friends questioned me on every detail.

Agh . . . it’s the horrible, wonderful, emotional feeling where you just really don’t want to feel it, but kind of do. 

And now on to the non-romantic part (sorry!) . . . 

I had told him that I was only casually dating and he said he was in the same place. “I like to just take it casually and have no expectations, but be surprised if a spark does happen,” he had said. 

I felt that we were mostly at the same place . . . as I’m committed to a six-month non-exclusive casual dating program, where I don’t get serious with anyone or let my heart get involved. 

And I think this is part of the learning process for me. It’s so easy to let my heart get involved. One of the biggest mistakes of past generations in my family is where both men and women get really emotionally attached to someone too quickly. And usually for unhealthy reasons. 

I’m not saying I want to GUARD my heart, but I do want to GUIDE it. Getting worked up over one guy, one romantic night, one emotional feeling is NOT in my best interest. We hardly know each other. 

So, even with The Lion King’s “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” theme song playing in my head today, I’m going to choose not to dwell on it. 

This is hard. But I’m going to observe the feeling. Maybe even ask WHY I feel it. I’m not going to judge it (it’s natural to feel romantic feelings), and I’m not going to run from it. But I am going to pursue other things, see other people, get my schedule filled with lots of fun events, and try to remember that a romantic atmosphere does not equal a healthy relationship. 

But first . . . a nap.