Dating Diaries 18: Values

One of my favorite TV shows to binge on (to my friends’ bewildered amusement) is CBS’s Survivor. I have no idea why, but I like . . . LOVE the show, hehe! 

In an episode I recently watched, one young good-looking southern guy started dating a cute girl on the season. He was seen as having really high character and just being such a nice, likable guy. He admitted to a few contestants that he was saving himself physically for marriage, and just smiled at their smirks. On a live reunion show, he was specifically asked if he was still a virgin while dating her (how embarrassing on live television!!!), and again nodded his head with his southern smile and said he was. . . . everyone just had awkward faces. The host changed the subject. 


But when I looked up their story, ten years later, they’re still married . . . and looked happy.


Most girls in my circles have been happily married for ten to fifteen years to husbands who had saved themselves physically for marriage. Most of them could laugh over how their husbands look now but trusted and loved their husbands more than any other person on earth. 


Those are the men I’m around, the dinner tables I sit at, the marriages I observe. 


But I sometimes secretly wonder if that will ever be my story. 


Right now, as I’m just casually dating for fun, I’m not looking for anything in particular. I’m just being open. Meeting people. Getting experiences. 


But I have to say in the middle of the fun, a part of my heart longs for someone who has similar values to me. 


I admitted to a couple friends at dinner the other night: “You know . . .  I compare these guys to your husbands. Character. Values. Respect. Loving you well.” They nodded at the compliment, but I knew they approved. Those were things they wanted for me too. 


I video chatted with a date about the same thing yesterday. We both agreed that while anyone can claim to have certain values, it takes time to observe actions that match up to those values. 


I think part of the learning process for me is getting to know what I’m looking for. And right now, character and values continue to be high on my list. 

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